The Secret to Getting Quality Men to Approach You

how to get quality men to approach you

Women ask me all the time, where can I go to meet quality single men?

I suggest they date online, go to Meetup groups and singles events or even hire a matchmaker. But I also tell them to just look around.

Quality single men are EVERYWHERE!

But it’s really hard to meet them, right?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if attractive single men walked right up to you at the grocery store, on the street, at the gym or at happy hour to say hello and then asked you out?

Believe it or not, there’s a simple way to make that happen.

Let me tell you a little story about my former client, Janet…

At 40, Janet had never been approached or asked out in a social setting (like a party, happy hour, etc.). I’m talking NEVER, which is odd since Janet is very attractive and super nice.

When a client tells me she never gets approached, I know there’s something about the way she carries herself that’s giving off the signal: stay away.

I figured that was the case with Janet, so I challenged her to give something new a try.

That evening, she was going to happy hour with coworkers. I asked her if she would try an experiment. She said “sure”!

I asked Janet to SMILE at happy hour like she’s never smiled before.

I told her to smile if she was talking to someone and also if she was listening to them speak. I told her to smile even if she was standing alone. I told Janet I expected the muscles in her cheeks to ache from smiling so much. You get the picture. 🙂

We pinky-sweared, and she left my office. That night Janet went to happy hour with orders to smile like nobody’s business.

The next morning, my phone rang at 8:30 AM. It was Janet, and she was excited!

You’re not going to believe what happened last night!” she said. “I met two really attractive nice guys, and they both ASKED ME OUT! And a third guy told me I was the most approachable person in the bar!


At 40, Janet had finally been approached. And better yet, asked out. Twice.

A smile was all it took.

And just so you know, Janet wasn’t dressed up or even wearing make-up (which I don’t recommend – I’m all about the cute outfit and being feminine). It’s important to note that all she did differently was SMILE, and two super cute guys approached her and asked her out!

Wouldn’t it be awesome if that could happen to you?

I’m wondering…

Is your resting face a scowl, lol? Or do you stare at your phone more than you make eye contact with people when you’re out and about?

Here’s what I want you to try…

The next time you’re at a happy hour or party (or even at Starbucks, the dry cleaner, the grocery store or on the Metro), SMILE a lot!

I know from personal experience that it works. When I was single, I met great men everywhere I went – even just walking down the street! What can I say, I’m a smiler!

And I treat everyone around me like they’re already my friends. I do my very best to share my warmth and kindness wherever I go, and you should too.

I compliment strangers (just yesterday I told some guy I loved his pink sweater).

I say “hello”.

I join in conversations (people are usually nice – no one’s given me a dirty look yet).

I have FUN with people, and I smile a lot too.

Smiling is THE BEST way to break the ice, invite others to talk with you and to show you’re warm, kind and open to meeting someone.

So go practice, and please let me know how it goes! I truly believe that a smile can change your life.

After all, if I hadn’t smiled at my husband six years ago in a crowded restaurant, he never would have come over to say “hello”!

Have an awesome smiley day!



P.S. Here’s a Periscope where I talk all about how smiling can change your life!  Watch it here!


  • Michele says:

    So I think you’re awesome, and a great advocate for women and happiness. I do. I also don’t think this story happened in Washington DC. Unless she looks a lot younger than 40, I just don’t know of any woman my age (and I have a lot of great, fun, gregarious, total smiler friends – these are approachable and lovely women) who have ever, ever been approached by a man in DC. Not ever. Not once. And online dating for a 40 year old woman, even a super hot 40 year old woman, is discouraging and awful – same group of awesome chicks also report that they get relatively little attention or no attention from men around their age in online dating. I think it would be OK to acknowledge that it’s really super hard for women over 35 to date in DC. Men go after much younger women here – most of my male friends and colleagues who aren’t married are dating women somewhat or much younger than them. Not a scientific study, but I think is borne out by the experience of most women. It’s one reason why I, personally, am sort of resigned to never dating while I’m here. I still really like being on your distro and reading your updates though – you’re a total inspiration to so many women and it seems like you’ve helped a lot of people find happiness. All the best. 🙂

    • Michelle Jacoby says:

      Hi Michele,

      Thank you so much for your comment. I bet there are a lot of women who feel the same way that you do. I understand how you feel. Your beliefs and feelings are based on your past experience, of course. But I believe that if you do things differently in the future, you can have a different set of experiences and develop a new belief system.

      I had a totally different experience with dating in my 40s than you describe, and my clients do as well. I was single at 40 with four young kids (including a newborn), and I had a blast dating in DC. I met wonderful single commitment-minded men – including my husband, who I married in my mid-forties. I’ve worked online and as a matchmaker for hundreds of women over 40. In fact, I’ve had great success with women over 60! And yes, those clients were here in DC!

      I’m sorry you’ve had negative experiences, but please DON’T GIVE UP! Perhaps you need a new approach/strategy. Feel free to email me at if you would like to learn more about my services here in DC. If not, please keep an eye out for my emails and blog posts. I’ll be as helpful as I can.



  • Kathy says:

    Oh Michelle, this was just the boost I needed today, I will keep in touch. Thank you and I hope things are also going well for Janet. Wishing you and all your readers a beautiful smile filled day! Hugs.

  • Lyndsey says:

    Again, fabulous advice!! I do think people’s resting faces can make them look mad, or mean, or sad. I’m going to focus in remembering this. While I’m reminding myself to stand up straighter

  • Felicitas Villegas says:

    Many guys had told me that I have a beautiful smile. My problem is that I’m a little shyly girl and that refrains me to smile more and specially to guys.
    Thank you Michelle for this great advice!!! Because it’s true. Smiling can melt the most hardest heart and definitely can attract others to you.
    Now I will smile more

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