Is He My Boyfriend?
Have you ever asked yourself, “Is he my boyfriend?” It seems like a simple enough question, right?
But how do you know for sure if the guy you’re dating is your boyfriend?
You might (mistakenly) assume he’s your boyfriend if:
- He spends lots of time with you.
- He calls and texts consistently.
- He sleeps with you.
- He’s introduces you to his friends and family.
- He takes you on trips.
- He talks about doing things together in the future.
If you’re asking yourself, “Is he my boyfriend?”, the answer could be yes…
But it also might be NO!
Let me tell you about three women I know…
Real-Life Stories: When Assumptions Lead to Heartbreak
Amanda’s Story
Amanda was dating a man for three months, and they spent the night together 3-4 nights a week. They’d met each other’s closest friends and had even traveled to Europe together.
I asked Amanda if they were exclusive. She assumed they were, but when I pressed her, she couldn’t say for sure. I told her she needed to ask him immediately, but it took her a few weeks to get up the nerve.
When she finally asked him, she learned he was dating (and sleeping with) other women. It soon became clear he had no intention of ever committing to her. So heartbroken, she moved on (and met her awesome boyfriend two months later).
Julie’s Story
Julie met a great guy online and they’d been dating for several weeks. He bought her gifts, surprised her with flowers, and told her how amazing she was. She assumed he was dating only her.
But one day, a friend of Julie’s saw her supposed boyfriend’s profile on Match.com, and she let Julie know. Julie asked her to message him to see if he was active on the site.
Sadly, he responded right away. Ouch.
Julie had assumed they were exclusive, but she was wrong. He was still actively dating and was NOT her boyfriend.
Maria’s Story
A few weeks ago, I asked Maria if the man she’d been dating (and sleeping with) for over three months was officially her boyfriend. She assumed he was, but they had never discussed exclusivity.
Key Dating Rule: NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
There’s something REALLY important you need to know:
Some men will date you, spend time with you, text you, call you, travel with you, and sleep with you, with no intention of ever committing to you.
Why would a man do that?
Because he enjoys your company (and the sex), that’s why. And because he’s a guy. And some guys are just like that.
The Reality Check
There are lots of terrific commitment-minded men out there. But at some point, you will likely run into a man who’ll date you even though he’s just not that into you.
Yes, that’s right. He’ll date you while he’s looking for someone else – someone he wants to commit to. That’s just how some men operate. *Sigh*
Please don’t EVER let another man waste your valuable time!
Don’t invest your time, energy, heart, and body in someone who doesn’t get how truly amazing you are. You deserve better.
Instead, ask yourself, “Is he my boyfriend?” and make sure to have the important exclusivity conversation to confirm his intentions.
How to know he’s your boyfriend
There’s only one way. He has to ASK you to be exclusive and say something like “I want us to only date each other. Will you date me exclusively?”
It’s as simple as that.
If he hasn’t asked, then the answer to “Is he my boyfriend?” is no.
Here’s to being an empowered dater, asking important questions, investing your time (and heart) wisely, and to finding the love of your life very soon!
xo,
Michelle
P.S. Want to learn about my game-changing coaching program? Schedule a call with me here, and let’s chat!
